The Turnpike MAL-Function....
The Turnpike MAL-Function….
It’s Friday and my bags are packed and my apartment is clean and I’m snacking on a cookie (probably something I should not be eating at 6am) trying to determine when and how I am going to put the show on the road headed toward The District. Red’s family is hosting their annual Tiki Party and this is the first year that I will actually be able to attend. 604 is also scheduled to arrive in The District at some later point in the evening, needless to say I’m excited as these are our last days together here in the states before he heads off the UK for work, so I want to make sure that we spend some quality time having fun and just doing the simple things.
By 9am I have made all necessary phone calls to my boss and Red and company and everyone who needs to know that I am on my way is aware…So here is the breakdown…..LOL
9:55am
I’m in my local Bodega with the nasty chubby Puerto Rican man that is always trying to give me his number. I will never get with this guy as “I’m just not that into him” but he makes one hell of a mean ham and cheese hero and yall know the kind of hero I’m speaking of…3lbs. of ham and 2 slices of cheese….GOOD & GHETTO!!!
10:17am
I stop at the shell to get fuel and I decide to use cash to pay for the gas so I pulled out all $6 that I had in my pocket and requested that I get $6 worth of V-Power fuel
10:19am
I am all done at the gas station but I’m realizing that atsix bucks @ $2.41 per gallon I'm probably not going to get very far but at least I know I can get down to Red’s house.
10:47am
Why is there mayonnaise, oil and vinegar on my oxford and khaki’s????
12:01 pm
Ok so I was just blazin on the NJ Turnpike free and clear of all traffic and now I’m sitting between exits 5 and 4
12:48 pm
Still here………
1:09 pm
Ok we are starting to move, gosh I’m going to have to do 90 miles an hour for at least an hour to make up for lost time….
1:17pm
I’m sitting in my car very annoyed waiting for the State Trooper to return to my vehicle with my license, registration and ticket for doing 87mph in a 65mph zone. (Honestly I was a little surprised that my car actually made it that high)
1:25pm
The state trooper who I must say had some of the most beautiful eyes that I had seen in sometime had ended up just issuing me a warning (no point or fines) for speeding but he did ticket me for having a brake light out. I was very relieved as this could have gone in a very different direction so I said a silent pray of thanks and got back on the road.
1:31pm
Red calls to check on me and when I look down at the odometer I realize I’m going 90mph so I first check my rearview mirror to make sure that no “unmarked” cars are behind me and then I proceed to pick up my cell phone…Without the headset
(What I know you all have done it at one point or another!!) I explain my dilemma and present him with an updated ETA and I hang up the phone and when I press play on my i-pod the next song pumping through my car is sooooo appropriately Janet Jackson’s
“Pleasure Principal” (Yall remember that video?? Janet, very in a desolate warehouse with a chair, a boom box and a fukkin mirror taking out some frustration) Wait is that the Delaware Memorial Bridge up ahead???? No it’s more traffic! So now I’m thinking to myself what the hell was Janet doing in that warehouse anyway????
1:55pm
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh……I’m in Delaware!
Ok now I’m thinking about the episode of the Cosby Show where Vanessa and her girlfriends decide to lie to their parents and haul ass to Wilmington, Delaware for a concert (I cannot remember the fictional band) only to have their plan foiled by a pickpocket that takes all their money…You would think that they would just call it a night but oh no they proceed to go on to the concert anyway…How ‘bout Claire got in her ASS that night.
*wondering why am I thinking about this right now*
2:45pm
I'm at an Exxon station about 20 minutes from Red's place paying $2.69 per gallon..I guess my thoughts at 10:19 am were not as accurate as I thought....
3:10pm
HELLOOOOOOOOOO ROCKVILE, MARYLAND!!!!!
Oh….Wait, that’s not Rockville…..That’s more traffic!
LOL LOL LOL
Have a good weekend yall!!!!
It’s Friday and my bags are packed and my apartment is clean and I’m snacking on a cookie (probably something I should not be eating at 6am) trying to determine when and how I am going to put the show on the road headed toward The District. Red’s family is hosting their annual Tiki Party and this is the first year that I will actually be able to attend. 604 is also scheduled to arrive in The District at some later point in the evening, needless to say I’m excited as these are our last days together here in the states before he heads off the UK for work, so I want to make sure that we spend some quality time having fun and just doing the simple things.
By 9am I have made all necessary phone calls to my boss and Red and company and everyone who needs to know that I am on my way is aware…So here is the breakdown…..LOL
9:55am
I’m in my local Bodega with the nasty chubby Puerto Rican man that is always trying to give me his number. I will never get with this guy as “I’m just not that into him” but he makes one hell of a mean ham and cheese hero and yall know the kind of hero I’m speaking of…3lbs. of ham and 2 slices of cheese….GOOD & GHETTO!!!
10:17am
I stop at the shell to get fuel and I decide to use cash to pay for the gas so I pulled out all $6 that I had in my pocket and requested that I get $6 worth of V-Power fuel
10:19am
I am all done at the gas station but I’m realizing that atsix bucks @ $2.41 per gallon I'm probably not going to get very far but at least I know I can get down to Red’s house.
10:47am
Why is there mayonnaise, oil and vinegar on my oxford and khaki’s????
12:01 pm
Ok so I was just blazin on the NJ Turnpike free and clear of all traffic and now I’m sitting between exits 5 and 4
12:48 pm
Still here………
1:09 pm
Ok we are starting to move, gosh I’m going to have to do 90 miles an hour for at least an hour to make up for lost time….
1:17pm
I’m sitting in my car very annoyed waiting for the State Trooper to return to my vehicle with my license, registration and ticket for doing 87mph in a 65mph zone. (Honestly I was a little surprised that my car actually made it that high)
1:25pm
The state trooper who I must say had some of the most beautiful eyes that I had seen in sometime had ended up just issuing me a warning (no point or fines) for speeding but he did ticket me for having a brake light out. I was very relieved as this could have gone in a very different direction so I said a silent pray of thanks and got back on the road.
1:31pm
Red calls to check on me and when I look down at the odometer I realize I’m going 90mph so I first check my rearview mirror to make sure that no “unmarked” cars are behind me and then I proceed to pick up my cell phone…Without the headset
(What I know you all have done it at one point or another!!) I explain my dilemma and present him with an updated ETA and I hang up the phone and when I press play on my i-pod the next song pumping through my car is sooooo appropriately Janet Jackson’s
“Pleasure Principal” (Yall remember that video?? Janet, very in a desolate warehouse with a chair, a boom box and a fukkin mirror taking out some frustration) Wait is that the Delaware Memorial Bridge up ahead???? No it’s more traffic! So now I’m thinking to myself what the hell was Janet doing in that warehouse anyway????
1:55pm
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh……I’m in Delaware!
Ok now I’m thinking about the episode of the Cosby Show where Vanessa and her girlfriends decide to lie to their parents and haul ass to Wilmington, Delaware for a concert (I cannot remember the fictional band) only to have their plan foiled by a pickpocket that takes all their money…You would think that they would just call it a night but oh no they proceed to go on to the concert anyway…How ‘bout Claire got in her ASS that night.
*wondering why am I thinking about this right now*
2:45pm
I'm at an Exxon station about 20 minutes from Red's place paying $2.69 per gallon..I guess my thoughts at 10:19 am were not as accurate as I thought....
3:10pm
HELLOOOOOOOOOO ROCKVILE, MARYLAND!!!!!
Oh….Wait, that’s not Rockville…..That’s more traffic!
LOL LOL LOL
Have a good weekend yall!!!!
posted by The Foxybrown Show at
6:13 PM
2 Comments:
Be safe sweetie!!
sounds like one ol' ride... you better give that man at the deli yo number... you'd have all the sammiches you need!
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