"Finger Lickin...HOOD"!!!

Ok so life goes on and even though 604 promised to bring me a few plates of food yesterday I have yet to receive them nor have I heard from him....Red and I view and critique "American Idol" it cracks me up how we go on about our business of reading these kids as if between the two of us we have: 4 Grammy's, 8 Platinum Albums and A Greatest Hits CD being released next week. Now though I love a spotlight and I think I live for the drama of life I have never been nobody’s vocalist...However put me in my car @ 6:30 in the morning and I instantly become "Foxybrown" the new Beyonce because lord knows I cannot tell you how many concerts I have given on Route 280 headed to work in the morning. Anyhow it's break time and I'm starving I decide to get dressed and venture my behind around the corner to the Kernel as thanks to Red and Starr I'm hooked on the new KFC “Snacker Sandwich”.

(My internal dialogue is wondering "Did I just do a commercial for KFC"?)

Anyhow it's after 9pm so the Fox Fone is in full force (Special shout out to Cingular "Raising the Bar") I'm on the phone with Preach filling him in on the weekend and complaining of hunger pains as I get closer and closer to the Kernel. I get to the front of the store and the doors are locked What in the "hot biscuit hell"??? The sign reads that these bastards are open till midnight and I guess to me it meant pull on the door a bit harder...Now mind you there is some big fat dude who looks like he ate all the Chicken sitting in front of the door so my already big eyes begin popping and burning holes in his chest as I pull on these doors and continue to run my mouth on my cell phone while he stares at me. At this point I move my eyes past his fat ass and focus in on the girl behind the counter, though I'm very hungry I still can't help thinking to my self "Gurl I know it's just KFC but you could have done something with that hair" Past her I look on and see two guys standing on opposite sides of the counter.....I'm looking at them getting angry cuz they are about to eat and I'm standing out in the cold watching.....Still running my mouth on the phone I notice one dude turn to look at me and when he does I see something that resembles a toy gun but immediately realize…….. "It Aint a Toy"…….. I continue to blab my mouth on the phone as I walk briskly across the street then I start thinking to myself "You dumb bitch your walking towards the Police Precinct" right after that my next thought is "Wait a minute what kind of dumb asses rob the chicken joint across the street from the Police Station" I am now walking past the Police Station and heading toward an alternative Chicken Shack I am on the phone and I turn around and see the guys jump into a van and speed off, destination Foxy! I'm still yapping away noticing these dudes but pretending that I don't as my mama should have named me "FAME" cuz I plan to live forever and I cannot afford any glitches in the Matrix. I arrive save at the alternative Chicken Shack place an order and stay on the phone with my boy who is freaking out on the other end of this call.....I swear Non-New Yorkers run me low.

As I'm walking out the door one the "dudes" is walking in and I'm thinking again to myself "Boy, these guys are really stoooopid, why are they worried about me I'm just some fag with a show I mean who am I going to tell..... (Turns to audience and winks)

(Audience laughs)

Anyhow I go about my business and I DON'T look back I stop off at the local Bodega and grab a beverage and hang up on the screaming fool in my ear so I can call the police and do my part. A few minutes later I call Preach to let him know I'm safe at home and I fill Red in on the current events, after I finish killing my wings and calming down the warm line rings and it's "Boston Public".......Gotta go guys but if any of you read this story and have the taste for some chicken my advice to you all is....."You better don't"!