"One to grow on".....

One to grow on……

A tribute to DC Black Pride 2005
Originally this was going to be one really nasty entry about my visit to the nations capital this weekend but instead of putting all the negative kah kah on my show I decided to share with you guys the lessons that I learned this weekend as I feel we all can relate.

Enjoy reading this because getting here was not easy……

The First Day
“Niggaz come and Niggaz go, however at the end of the day all you have is yourself so you can either settle for someone who has proven to be consistently inconsistent or take pride and celebrate the individual that now recognizes that flaw and is able to walk away and look back and laugh but never walk backwards as that is just not the way the creator intended it to be, so I’m sorry a trip back to your hotel room is kinda out of the question but I would like to thank you for showing up here tonight and reminding me of how special I AM and exactly how undeserving of me YOU ARE!


The Next Day
“In life we have choices; we make our choices based on all of the
information provided. I choose to be ahead of the game, therefore what your doing today I did last year. My job in life is not to save anyone because we all have to learn on our own, however, if I call you my friend and there is information that I can provide to help you to get ahead of the “game” damn right I’m going to give you a cheat sheet. Unfortunately, I realize that this can be very intimidating to people yet it also lets people know that I’m not that bitch but that other bitch and if you approach me please bring your best as I have already written the script but I’m curious to see how closely your paying attention to the show”…….

Saturday
“Surround yourself with people who reflect what you want in life, this is not guaranteed to get you what you want out of life however, could this really be a bad way to go”?

The Seventh Day“Whether I like it or not people are looking up to me, learning from me and watching my moves at all times. Every now and again I will make a mistake but what’s important is learning from your mistakes and not making them again. Oh and I also learned that Absolut and carrot juice is not your friend”. (Chuckle)

The Day I went Home“I realized that I’m really growing up and what worked at 18 is no longer acceptable at 27. I had a conversation with a very good friend to the show that reminds me constantly of how different I am and after this weekend I think I’m finally ready to own it. I’m not your average dude….Hi my name is “Foxybrown” and Life is my show and guess what…I’m the host, you are my audience and I think “Your beautiful”.

Well, enough with the lessons it’s time to get this show on the road. The Summer edition of the show is officially ready to begin (grabs car keys and turns to Mr. A.Gay and in my best Beyonce voice says) “You Ready”??????

Ciao!

"Get OUT of ATL"!!!

Get OUT of ATL…….

Ok this all took place about a week ago but we have a schedule on this show and Damnit we are going to stick to it!

Well “The Brit” has become a part of the show in the last 5 years or so, he and Red did Undergrad together and we were introduced on one of our road trips to ole “Hot Lanta”, at any rate “Brit” and I have become really cool over the years and have seen each other through some pretty interesting moments, he hails to us from the fabulous United Kingdom by way of Jamaica and somewhere in the 5 boroughs. Everyone it is my pleasure to introduce you all to the intricate and witty friend to the show……”The Brit”

(Audience screams) “Good Day Bloke”!!!

So last Friday I get a call from “The Brit” @ 7am, it runs me low that you people know that I’m in the office that early, bigger than that you guys know that my lines are free to get the latest updates and dramas around the country and abroad. So “Brit” who currently resides in Atlanta was in the middle of telling me a story about a friend in NYC who happens to know of a new associate recently hired in “Brit’s” office. Immediately my boy is warned to stay away from this dude and not to let “the newbie” in any of his business.
(Sidebar: It amazes me that no matter when you go the queers are so well connected, I guess I do this all the time and don’t realize it but a friend can drop the name of someone 3,000 miles away and I will be able to give you their mama’s maiden name along with their last 5 sexual partners it is so good to be in the know…...End sidebar)

“Brit” takes the warning seriously and keeps his distance….However, one morning while my boy was actually jumping in his ride to head out of the office parking lot “Newbie” just so happened to be pulling into the parking lot right next to “Brit”. “Newbie” rolls down his window and greets my boy and then hands his cell phone to “The Brit”. Now anyone would think that this is fairly out of the ordinary but there is nothing to go on so naturally he takes the phone and looks at the display to his shock and surprise he reads the name of his ex “Crazy Bitch 404”. I tell you my boyz are as gracious as they come…”Brit” simply hands the phone back to “Newbie” and says…”My business is my business…Have a great day”!
Jumps back in his car and pulls out, now of course within minutes I’m on “Da Man’s Line” aka “The work phone” getting the story fresh from the source…

Now:

1. Why are the kids in Atlanta so fierce?
2. What would make “Newbie” think that is was okay to approach my boy that way?
3. What the hell is in the water in Atlanta and why are all the boyz so fukkin crazy!
4. Is Atlanta Spanish for “Bunch O’ Black Sissies and the women who love them”?

This is probably the reason why Red and I can only deal with that city for a window of 48 hours. We keep “The Brit” in our prayers and we beg you to keep drinking bottled water baby!

For more information and questions on Atlanta please visit: www.welcometoatlanta.com or here
Happy Monday!

"Spring Cleaning"

Interestingly enough this is something that I found when I was cleaning up The Jersey Estate last weekend…It dates back to 2001 not to long after 9/11….I was going through a lil sumthin back then but anyway here goes….

“Spring Cleaning”


My space is so occupied filled with so many nooks & crannies I have collected over the years. Most are ornaments of my happy days and some can bring me to tears….

All in all combined they represent me the man I am today tomorrow and who I used to be…

No matter how I restructure this organized confusion the end result is always guaranteed, I can reset my space but my emotions will always be there in my time of need.

My closet is so irrational yet it is in perfect condition for it contains all of the essential tools I need to complete any mission.

I don’t look any further for answers because they are all within. Everyday I live is a victory claimed and a battle waiting to begin.

My space is so busy I find that I cannot find room to sit, when I stop and look around once more I realize I’m moving somebody else’s shit.

The space that was once mine is now as crowded as a Brooklyn bound “A” train during rush hour, my simple piles of emotions and thoughts have become a leaning tower.

I have taken on the struggles of the brothers and sisters around me, through sedated eyes look at what I see……

Mis-education, separation, depression, recession but if I look in the other direction I face Progression without digression, advancement without adversity.

Now all of this in my atmosphere can make it hard to breathe; yet I have no trouble at all grasping the message the creator wants me to receive.

It is so crowded in here but some how I manage to always make room for more…..When what I really need to do is pick up all this shit and put it on the other side of the door.

Now I can start out fresh with a whole new respect for organization I started at the end and worked my way back to my foundation…

It is there that I find what I always knew, no matter how chaotic your closet is to yourself you must remain true.

Keep a shoebox full of happiness, a shelf for all the pain, hangers to hold onto the Faith and an umbrella because every now and again it will rain.

The next time you sit in your closet and you feel trapped within; relax and realize that you must let your growth begin…

So go ahead dissect, restructure and just tear your closet apart, for when you clean up your living space…..You also set free your heart.

Happy Spring Cleaning!

A Gift from Virgo.....

A Gift from Virgo….

I wish I could look in your eyes and tell you how I feel right now inside….
Baby I know that it’s real….Real so Real

I miss you…..How I wish I could be with you……Miss you.
How I wish, How I wish, How I wish I could be with you right now…..

Every morning, every afternoon, every night I want to be with you
We can go to the park or watch a play, stay in a hotel room all day I just wanna be with you.

I love everything about you from your old school tennis shoes, to the way you move when you’re dancing with me….Do you remember our first kiss?? It wasn’t long enough…Remember the first weekend we spent together…It wasn’t long enough.

All of our conversations, all of your sweet messages, they were never long enough.
When it’s time for me to leave…I never want to say goodbye….I never want to say goodbye.

One day….We’ll make love; finally, I’ll be yours….
Only you, only you…..I could love you, but it’s too late…I think I already love you…

I love you, I love you, I love you……

I……Love…….You……

"A whole lotta nothin" (The Weekend Edition)

A whole lotta nothing….

Friday- I got my ass home from work and crashed it appears that everyone was heading out of town and all I could say was “Adios Bitches”!!! Man words cannot express how much I needed this break. I spoke to “BP” earlier than usual and that was a pleasant treat. “Red” had just made it back in from the Lone Star State and the plan was to watch the “Top Model” episode we missed but “The U Peoples Network (UPN)” had some other plans they decided that Star Trek was much more important and it is at this point that I thought I would lose my mind….First “Red” and I miss the original airing because he is in Texas and they don’t have UPN in Dallas (or at least not in the hotel he was staying in) How the fukk can they have “Dance 360” but NO UPN! So, right now I’m officially scratching Texas off of the travel log for the remainder of the year. Before “Red” and I hang up for the night I confirm that there will be a Marathon Saturday on VH1 so we will be able to catch any missed episodes tomorrow…All balance has been restored to the planet earth. Well almost, “BP” called me back to give a quick shout out to say he was beatin the street and he would catch up with me later. I’m always a little shocked and a little flattered by this and not for nothing, today he decided to step his game up left me with a few things to think about and boy was I thinking…

Somewhere between Friday and Saturday…..

Actually the time was 4:30am and the warm line was ringing and privately I got a little warm with the thought of who might be on the other end of the line…Of course you know who it was…However I bet you wouldn’t guess that we talked on the phone till the sun came up just like Mariah said. I tell yall this guy is really blowin my mind and the viewers know for him to be able to get through on the warm line at 4am you know he’s something special…Hell, you guys know it ……And so does he!

Saturday-

Started very VERY early as you read above of course after we hung up I couldn’t just take my butt to bed, no I had to get up and get my cleaning on…I finally got my i-pod going so at 7am I was having a private concert in my apartment jamming to the likes of Amerie, Beyonce, Millie Jackson & Queen (yeah I’m getting my ROCK on!) all blasting in my new i-pod. Once that was all done I figured I cleaned the house might as well clean my ass. Ran a few errands then off to the library to meet a study group. Finals are this week so for the next few days I will be all about “Business Statistics 2”. After the study group was all closed out me and one of my classmates ran and got a bite to eat at one of the little Indian joints by school that I have been dying to try. I love Indian food and as the food today was ok I have had much better right at home near Jersey City University.
Later that night I check in with everyone “Red” interestingly enough had spent the afternoon hanging with “Kuzzin BP” down in DC sounded like they were having a good time so back to the books I went. Later that night I caught the missed episode of “Top Model” then I had another interesting conversation with “BP” that once again had me sitting up thinking I decided that is was again time to hit the books. So though Mariah has been trapped in my CD player I broke out the i-pod and let Mary J sing to me about PMS now back in the day this was one of my favorite songs and only Mary could make a song about “PMS” and get away with it…So I decided I was in the moment so I found myself typing the lyrics into the blog. So once again I’m fine yall I was just really feeling the song at the moment LOL!

Sunday….The code word is “Seven”.

Once again this was an early start for me I have not been to church in about a month so it was only appropriate that I made it in this morning. I didn’t realize that today was going to be “Woman’s Day” I walked in to what appeared” to be a box of Crayola Crayons, a sea of pastels and warm colors. Go figure, the Sunday I get up and make it into service Reverend Fox (this is not a clever way of disguising his name. Yes my pastors last name is “Fox”, only on my show) is not preaching this morning instead they have a sister visiting from a Church in Jersey City she was cool but my mama can put the word down a little heavier than she did this morning. Those of you who know Mother Fox know what I’m talking about. Anyhow, once I got home I talked with “BP” and “Red” then it was time to meet my study group again. Now it’s like 6pm and I’m on the phone watching some VH1 special on “Cops” the TV show. Can I tell yall I was glued to the set, well at least until the show was over and then I talked to my boy “Valdez” and we were both complaining about the stress of finals and then we agreed to meet for a drink but I decided to bring it up a notch since I had yet to checkout “7” I figured” I would kill two birds with one stone…If anything it was more of a favor for “The Starr” who wanted me to represent and show my face on the set. I grabbed the Fox Fone and a few business cards and hit it. Once “Valdez” and I got to the spot we hit the bar and then we hit the dance floor HARD I guess timing was the key because once I heard 3 of my favorite jams in a row I was ready to party:

“Wait” by the Ugly Ying Yang boyz
“Get Right” by J-Lo
“1 Thing” by Amerie

I bet some of you are bopping your heads right now so you know it was on “Valdez” cracks me up because he is one Puerto Rican boy that gets his dance on! But, I forget he thinks he’s Black…LOL LOL

So now it’s like 11:30pm and I’m spinning in the door all half-drunk and sweaty from “The Foxybrown Workout Plan” at “7”. It is as though he heard me walk in the door cuz “BP” was on the phone checking in for the night, we both were pretty out of it as yall know for me to go hanging out in NYC is a rare thing and add that with all the studying I was sneaking in I was physically and mentally drained.

Time to close my eyes and get ready to do this all over again!

Happy work week to you all! Ciao!

PMS....

Today I'm not feelin pretty
See I'm feeling quite ugly
Havin one of those days
When I cant make up my mind
So don't even look at me
See I don't wanna hear your problem
Cause I'm having some of my own
I know it's not your fault
That I'm feelin down
I just wanna be left alone

I'm down and out in depression
I think the worst of everything
My lower back is achin'
And my clothes don't fit
Now aint that a bitch

Got an attitude and I aint talkin to you
Only if the shoe'd fit
I don't care what you think about me
I don't need you cryin' around me
Don't need your sympathy
I don't need it, no no

PMS

Going through something in nights
Same shit in the day
I don't need to understand
Where I'm coming from tonight
See I Told you, you would be able to relate tonight
My lower back is achin'

PMS

And I don't know what I'm gonna do
I'm stressed
I want y'all to hear what I'm sayin

PMS, PMS, PMS

I'm Feelin really bitchy yeah
And I don't feel like being nice to nobody
Don't feel like smilin no

PMS

And I don't need you to remind me
See cause PMS
Is takin over right now
if you understand, understand where I'm comin from
Sing along, PMS
This is the worst part of everything
Give me a break, give me a break
Cause I don't wanna have to set it on yor tonight

PMS....

La Cucaracha....

La Cucaracha….

Ok somebody needs to kick my ass for this one or maybe not because I thought it was hilarious so maybe you will too!

Talk about a damn flashback, the other night BP and I were on the phone until about 2am discussing growing up and the dilemmas that Urban youth had to face….Now you would think that there would be some heavyweight topics going on here but oh no not us….

Our agenda:

1. Why Roaches can’t swim?
2. Why Roaches always build a nest behind your family portrait on the wall?
3. What is our fascination with pregnant roaches?
4. Roach Bombs….
5. What the HELL is in Chinese Chalk????? (the eighth wonder of the world)
Last but certainly not least…
6. How you can tell if someone grew up with Roaches….

1. I don’t know, all I can recall is that as a child with mama working double shifts sister fox and I were sooooo NOT allowed to go outside so we had to get creative with our indoor time. Now considering my mother never was pleased with us leaving food sitting out because it brought Roaches we concluded that roaches were EVIL and needed to be destroyed so why not have fun doing so…How ‘bout our favorite past time was collecting the little critters in a jar and filling it with water (behind the scenes I’m thinking this could be an event in the Ghetto Olympics) hoping that they would be able to swim well after about 30 seconds our hopes and dreams were killed…..Well until we found another victim.
2. How ‘bout I really don’t have an answer for this one but just can confirm that it’s true, they always find a home behind that picture of Jesus or that 16x20 baby portrait. Is it because they feel safe with the lord? Are they trying to bond with the family? Again…I don’t have an answer but I bet yall are laughing right now…
3. Here is where BP was on his own….He expressed his amazement for the “six legged babies mama” It was big for him to catch one and put a hit on her and the new tribe growing in her belly…We laughed so hard at his excitement on this but quietly I’m “buggin” out because not for nothing those were the ones I ran from…I have no Idea why I have always been afraid of pregnant roaches but I have.
4. Roach Bombs…..This does not require any explanation at all.
5. If anyone can tell me this ancient Chinese secret I would be so grateful…What did they put in this stuff that that scared or ugly friends away…This I believe is the eighth wonder of the world…Yall think Cheng would be offended if I asked him what they put in it??? LOL
6. Now this is the funniest of them all….I had never given this any thought whatsoever but BP and his crazy self really got my brain going on this…People who grew up in homes with Roaches eventually grow up and evolve and live in homes without roaches and dish washers and exterminators that visit on a monthly basis. Here is the real kah-kah…Why is it that no matter what they WASH everything…Even if they pull it right out the dishwasher it must go under running water first. A glass, fork, plate you name it we all do it but I don’t think we realize we do….Hell, even as I was having this very conversation with BP I was rinsing a juice glass out before I poured a glass of water I damn near almost dropped the glass in the sink. LOL

I promised BP that I would not tell everything we discussed as further stories would severely embarrass both he and myself. Those “tales from the roach side” will remain between us.

How’s that for Friday the 13th!

I'm not that Bitch....I'm that other Bitch.....

This was originally a just a personal thought not meant to be published but the streets have been asking for this one all week. Yall all pretty much know this already but it appears that some have forgotten so here we go………….

I'M NOT THAT BITCH….That will leave you stranded in a tough situation, life is all about the up’s and downs we do not always make the best decisions and that’s cool but what is more important is that we learn from our bad choices.

I'M NOT THAT BITCH…..That will talk behind your back trust and believe that I have no issues verbalizing my opinions to you and if you heard I said it I probably did but never before you have heard if from my mouth….So if someone told you I thought you were a dumb ass…..Chances are I have already called you one. (Smile)

I'M NOT THAT BITCH…. That is into playing children’s games, I’m 27 years old and everyday I grow a little bit wiser. I am focused and I’m making it happen everyday. I really don’t have time to get caught up in the drama of the world as I’m busy writing about it and hosting my own show….If you are reading this then you know it takes a lot of time and effort to make this happen so petty games and immature attitudes are not appreciated by the viewers and more importantly the Executive Producer!

I'M NOT THAT BITCH….That will be held down by you or anyone else for that matter. I do my best to keep people in my life that aspire for more and don’t blame the world because it’s not happening when they think it should but rather make every effort to make the best of their situation. Please keep in mind there is always someone else who is in a worse situation than you. So when you walk around with your head slumped down because life has not been good to you, just remember that there is someone looking up to you at this very moment.


Now on the flip side let me tell you who I really am….

I’M THAT OTHER BITCH….That will go above and beyond for anyone that I feel deserves it. I have a big heart and an even bigger mouth. So rest assured I will be your biggest cheerleader when you need a little boost and I will be the voice of reason when your ass begins to act like a fool. I’m always on your side but I’m always fair…If you are wrong then just own it and deal with it…..Life is usually a lot easier that way.

I’M THAT OTHER BITCH….That loves to have a good time and does not necessarily have many hang-ups when it comes to that. I can roll with the best of them here and abroad (that’s right the show is in syndication in Canada and Europe as well). However, I am able to have such a great time because I know my limitations I know what I will and will not tolerate so when I find myself in a situation that might not be the best it is soooo not a problem to say ”No Thanks” and continue to enjoy my life. Not many of us can do that and now that I have mastered that ability damn if you’re going to change it!

I’M THAT OTHER BITCH….You know the one that makes every effort to do what he promises to do because my word is all I’ve got well that and my feelings I figure that if I keep my word I won’t hurt anyone’s feeling and I gather by doing this nobody will hurt mine, this is not always the case because every now and again someone you have been terribly nice to will hurt your feelings but that’s ok because in the end you know you did the right thing. It’s usually at this point I take off the “bag o’ bullshit” and return it to you because guess what……It doesn’t belong to me.

I’M THAT OTHER BITCH….Last but not least I’m that guy who knows how to make a graceful exit. I am sooooo dramatic it’s unbelievable well maybe not unbelievable I do realize that you people read the Blog. However, when the jig is up I know how to walk away without a hitch. Hell even people who don’t like me LOVE me. There are many people in my life who have been killed off the show but thanks to their cameo appearances have helped to build great relationships with new cast members and make other relationships even stronger. When I’m on…. I’m on! However when the scene is over I know how to exit Stage Right………

Today I’m wearing a bracelet given to me by a friend I love dearly unfortunately they didn’t love themselves enough to realize that I’m not THAT BITCH but THE OTHER ONE. Now it’s too late but I do thank them for helping me to grow and realize my own ability they will always be a part of the show……..In Spirit.

All I have is me: Silly, Candid, Dramatic, Emotional, Loving and Honest. Oh and a smart ass mouth…If you take that away from me all I have is my Tighty Whitey’s and the new i-pod RED just purchased for me! (Thanks Bro!)

*shout out to slow metamorphosis your gonna have to help me with this thing*

Now that I have made it clear who I am…..Exactly who the FUCK are you???

How 'bout that!

"Now.....I see the light".

Now…..I see the light…

As interesting as this week has been, you think that I would have gone through enough with my car, but not on this show…So it’s about 4pm and I’m pulling into the parking lot at Pep Boys because I have a bad tail light. As I park I’m gearing myself up to run in and play Damsel in Distress. Red hates that I do this but I’m not a fan of getting dirty and I’m just not as mechanically inclined as most would like me to be. So I spin into the doors and walk up to the counter expecting to see “Jose” who I normally go to with my mediocre request but instead I see this PHINE brother working behind the counter now I can’t help but to go through my normal routine of checking this guy out so before I even explain my problem I have confirmed that he is at least a 40 waist and that his belly is about to bust out of that ugly Pep Boys shirt. However, I’m just enjoying the view…Eventually he snaps me out of my daze by asking “Hey, how can I help you”? I respond. “Uh, well I have a tail light out and I’m not sure how easy or complex it will be to change it”. It is a this very moment I step back from the counter and pretend to read the price listing but what I’m really doing is displaying my outfit and man purse so that he clearly understands that I really don’t want to have to change it as it may mess up my outfit. How ‘bout he disregards my coy notion and explains that he needs to see the light in order to know what kind of replacement bulb I need so I kindly say ”I drive a ’95 Nissan Sentra”. He repeats…”I need to SEE the light bulb so if you just pop it out real quick I can help you”. (Incomes Attitude)
Now I have to go back to my car and try to figure this out…I’m trying to think of who I could actually call to get me through this…I think about calling Red but I could hear him screaming at me now so I decide against that…..I instead pop the trunk and try to figure this out….I had a similar situation with a headlight about 2 months ago while visiting Red so I gather if I survived that I can survive this…Sure enough 5 minutes later I was spinning back through the store doors with one busted bulb in hand. I pass it over to “Cutie Thickums” and he steps away and returns with a two pack of bulbs, it is at this point I realize that I’m on my own with the rest of this task. I snatch one more sneak peek at Cutie and I realize he aint got no booty! I almost explode in laughter as I’m walking out the door because privately I think that is so cute….Oh well I get over it really fast as what I think is ugly is that he did not come outside and fix this damn light so what I’m really thinking is…..”Forget him and his flat ass”!

2 minutes later I’m heading home with two new tail lights and a feeling of accomplishment.

Now once I’m home I’m completely drained and need to reserve a few moments to just stare at the walls……… (Foxy falls asleep)

Stay tuned for Part 2!

"The CARATE kid"....

“The CARATE Kid”….

Sunday morning started up with a wake up call to Red just to touch base and see what was going down in his corner of the sky, we chatted and watched a lil Sunday morning television…..Shortly after that he returned to the comfort of his bed and I decided to be somebody and get my day going…Before I could actually finish that thought 604 gave me a call to confirm that we were on for brunch…..I really wanted to decline on breakfast but hell he was treating and as my boy “Star” would say never ever turn down free food or free alcohol and it was Sunday Brunch so that would have been a double whammy bacon and eggs and Vodka and Cranberry all before noon! So I hop in the shower and get cleaned up as soon as I am dry and dressed the warm line rings and it’s Boston Public checking in to see what’s going down in my town….I fill him in the morning plan and shortly after that I’m out the door headed to 6’s place so we can grab some grub. For those of you who do not know….Jersey City has slowly progressed into the new Gay Chelsea and 6 is the new Metro-sexual, very much the straight man but very in tune to what’s happening in the “punk community” he knows what we have on our i-pods, what we are wearing and more importantly what cities to avoid during GAY PRIDE!!! Anyhow, we hit this new spot called “Café” very trendy chic place was crawling with queers and the straight boys that love them as well as a few breeder couples here and there…We snatch up a really good spot facing out onto the street allowing us to see and more importantly be seen. I mention to 6 that we should have called “Dr. Know” as he lives right around the corner from this place as we do whenever we eat downtown he’s always good for a few laughs and more importantly picking up the bill!! However it doesn’t come free….Whenever doc is involved you can always count on a free psycho-analysis and quite frankly I just wanted to get through my eggs in peace. Speaking of which…..Where are my eggs? We only ordered about 20 minutes ago it was at that very moment when “Pedro” (typical Puerto Rican waiter name) came over with a basket of muffins, 6 and I are both think now we didn’t order these…..Pedro interrupts our thoughts and explains that they are backed up in the kitchen so they gave us a basket of muffins and apologize for the delay…Of course when the waiter walks away, 6, being the metro-sexual that he is begins to “REED” now I say that because only the real sisters of the rainbow can “READ” and he states that the only reason they brought the muffins over was so that two black men having breakfast do not flip out about the delay in service…..I just rolled my eyes I tell you he there are some days that I really need to change his blog name to Angry Black Man but since he is paying for this meal I will spare him the conversion. We eat, we talk, we laugh we people and dog watch…I’m watching all the fags walk by and 6 is watching all the dogs. The food was cute but it was all about the atmosphere at “Café”.

Our next stop, the local target where we don’t necessarily purchase anything important but kind of walk the aisles chasing a deal…I walked away with all my mothers day cards and a few toiletries nothing major. I give Red a call assuming that he is probably in Target at this very moment doing the same exact thing that we are doing but nope he is stretched across his couch having the weekend that I should be having…..*Rolls Eyes*

Alright , so we make one more quick stop at Pier 1 as allegedly Boston Public will be on the show next weekend so some candles and pretty things might be in order…Now we are on the way back home….Traffic is heavy outside of the Holland Tunnel and drivers are not being friendly to Foxy at all….I see today is a day I have to take matters into my own hands….Ok, so I have this guy racing right next to me and I realize this guy is in no way going to let me over into the turning lane so I back down and let him go but as soon as he’s gone I dart over into the left lane and make a very sharp left turn and at that precise moment my car gets a very sharp pain in the ass and not the good kind! 6 and I go spinning into the street and when the car finally stops we both check each other to make sure that we are not hurt and then we just bust out laughing because “Mariah” is in the cd player and ironically she is singing to us “Shake it off” ( I tell you I am blessed with the innate ability to find the humor in anything and from the looks of 6 choking with laughter it apparently rubs off on people pretty easily). We get out of the car to inspect the vehicle and make sure everything is ok and we find that there is a pretty nice size dent near the gas tank (sigh). Now we look over to the vehicle that hit us…Wouldn’t you know it was a damn mini-van…..So fukkin typical I get hit by the family on the way to the damn Circus! However, upon closer inspection we realize there are two sisters from the motherland sitting in the front of the car…..At this point I’m waiting for James Earl Jones draped in Lion’s fur to come and attack me LOL. We walk and make sure they are ok while 6 is writing their license plate number just in case they try to make a dash back to Africa. Once I realize that they are ok I call 911 and the police come onto the scene and take the report it honestly was a pretty painless process, sorry no 911 horror stories here, well if the police report does not return in my favor yall can expect a nice little part 2 to this story….So long story short I fill Red in on the details long as he knows we are cool he is cool. I go over to 6’s house to make a few cd’s and I end up staying there for the next 5 hours. Once I get home I’m exhausted from the day’s events but there is one more person that I need to tell this story to (Phone rings) alright gotta split yall know the deal. Happy work week! See you on the show tomorrow.

“The Revolution will not be televised….However, it does come with a side order of Egg Rolls”.

“The Revolution will not be televised….However, it does come with a side order of Egg Rolls”.

Ok, Red and Preach are going to laugh at this one but I needed to publish this as I totally forgot about it until I was taking stock last night.

A few weeks back Preach was in town from the West Coast and on a Saturday night we all ventured out to get Chinese Food from the Notorious C.H.E.N.G. I guess this lil adventure was exciting especially for Preach because this is one of restaurants that I’m usually calling him from and he has been reading the Blog and knows how essential Cheng has become for 604 and me. Now once we get to the restaurant Preach is taken away as he was under the assumption that “Cheng’s” was a sit down Chinese restaurant LOL Ummmmm not on this show. We are talking “Take Out Only” yall know the scene Plexi-glass windows and the big Iron gate door separating the cook from the customer. We looked over the menu once and placed our order with “Big Cheng” daddy of lil Cheng, now that our orders are in we turn our attention to group of young girls that are in the restaurant there are about four of them and they stretch in age from about twelve to twelve well there is always a big one who’s thirteen but looks seventeen and a half! We make a quick run to the bodega to pick up cookies, chips and snacks and things you eat along with ghetto chinese (puff). Once we return to Cheng’s one of the lil girls is at the counter screaming at Big Cheng “Put more motherfuckin Ketchup on my fries…Don’t fuckin play with me…..Fuck it…Forget it”.

Ummmmm, are you kidding me?? Is this little brat disrespecting this adult over some ketchup??? Alright now I’m getting hot because I don’t understand who and what has taught this little punk ass girl that it’s cool to speak that way to adults….Period?
Red and Preach are both whispering to me to calm down as they know I have very little patience for this type of shit and might end up brawlin with a group of lil “gangsta bitches” Just as that thought passes through my head an older gentlemen walks in and almost immediately starts yelling at Big Cheng and making threats to shoot him and all kinds of foolishness mind you these little girls find this to be hilarious and I’m growing more and more frustrated.

The Breakdown:

1. The behavior of this older gentleman kind of reinforces to these young girls that this is the way you speak and treat adults.
2. This old man is probably severely inebriated right now and eventually will sober up and realize how much of an ass he has made of himself in front of us, Cheng and our future.
3. What the hell does Cheng think of all of this? I frequent his establishment all the time and I get the royal treatment and hell there are many of you who read this and know exactly what I’m talking about it’s nothing for me and a group of friends to walk in and get some free food or drink not because we ask but because we are just good folks and Cheng takes care of us.

At the end of the day, we went home and enjoyed the food and especially those Iced Tea’s but I think we all had some weird feeling from that experience. I’m not really sure how I even feel about it at this very moment but I am not sure what else I can do right now but write about it…….I’m out….