Mama's Gun....

11AM and we are out of our drunken madness and ready to hit the road headed towards Atlanta. I'm dressed and my outfit it giving you Paris meets Harlem however I have a Du-rag situation as it makes the outfit pop it is also giving me Razor bumps on the back of my head so Red suggests that I not wear it:

1. Due to the Razor bump situation
2. What the folks might think when exiting the hotel

I have issues with that for a few reasons:

1. I don't give a damn what someone is thinking of me. I can give you 15 different looks in one night it's up to you to figure out which one if any represent "Foxybrown". I am always aware of the circle of appropriateness and never step out of the boundaries but I will always push them that is what makes me Foxy.

2. Georgia Peach and Red are slappin 5's about me not wearing this du-rag yet Foxy pulls a bitch card out of his man purse and reminds these boys that it is so interesting that they find issues with my Du-Rag when exiting the hotel that we paid to stay in. However, If "Howard the Homo-Thug" dressed in eight du-rags approached one of these boys in the club the panties would drop faster than the ghetto girl in the Snoop video

*Foxy sings to self* "Drop it like it's hot...Drop it like it's hot"!

Amidst all this Du-Rag drama in my head the Fox Fone rings and it's "Preach" who has been reading the blog and getting into it. I am pumping out of the hotel with my bags, cell and Starbucks in tow, when "Preach" yells out to me that "I'm one consistent hoe"! I almost drop my coffee laughing so hard at this fool as he feels that at the end of the day if I don't do anything else..."I get my shop and eat ON"!!! I wanted to just reach through the phone and slap his ass but when the kids call you out the best bet is to own it so I shut my mouth and listened.

Foxy Comments- “I have read the comments some of you bitches have left here on the show and I do not need a twelve step program however if someone wants be a gym buddy HOLLA”!

Now we are on the road headed to Atlanta and jamming to music along the way. I can't help but think there are only certain people I would do this with and two of them are right here in the car with me, now follow because here is the reason why.

I am flipping through "GP's" cd collection and stumble across Erykah Badu's "Mama's Gun" album and when I tell you my boyz jumped up so quick and we put that cd in and jammed 50% of the way to ATL. Not sure if you guys have heard it but if you have not please stop reading my blog right now and run out and pick up the album and make it the soundtrack of your day, you will thank me later. Thereis always going to be music that will be a part of an event and a period in your life and for this trip Erykah will be a big reminder of my trip to GA.

As we roll into City Limits we finish up with Ms. Badu and quickly change the soundtrack to "Wonderwoman" nuff said, Welcome to Hot-lanta!

The Tour Day One....

"Showtime Synergy"

Ok so this "HOT" house beat is pumping in our heads and so are Red and I, right down the aisle at Savannah International Airport

(Sidebar) "Why come most airports with the "International" status are as big as my thumb"? (End sidebar)

Ok so we are on the phone with our Mamas because we arrived in one piece and more importantly without them this show would not be possible, so if you have a Mama here or in heaven take a few moments to give them some love.

(Audience cheers) "Now back to the tour"

In the back drop we see our favorite "Georgia Peach" waiting on us and we know that the good times are about to begin. Twenty minutes later we are checking into our hotel and bigger than that, the hottie that is checking us in has no idea that we are checking him out(wipes brow). Our next stop is to the Hotel Bar I mean the #1 accessory when out of town is a cocktail second only to a condom! The room is fabulous and we have an amazing view of downtown from our room. We are ready to bring The Bronx Bomber and Brooklyn's Finest to Savannah. So we hit downtown and "GP" takes us on a tour of the historic sections and homes and shows us a few of the more popular hang-outs in Savannah. We see some familiar friends and we wave at our good buddies..."Banana Republic" and GAP" they are everywhere we seem to be! After we play "find-a-park" we then put our feet to the streets and take in the best of Downtown Savannah. We hit a spot called "Wet Willy's and I find my eyes are popping at the numerous choices of frozen beverages, I lock in on one so appropriately titled "Call a Cab" I decide that this will be the drink for the group.

Ladies and Gentlemen let me introduce you to "The Kah Kah" better know and "The Shit"

The "Kah Kah" is How 'bout you can drink freely in the streets of Savannah as long as your beverage is in a plastic cup!!!

We grab our drinks and move on to the streets not too long after we begin to feel our drinks taking effect. I find Red staring into the sun for no reason and GP is stumbling in the street so ummmm yeah it's time for a meal. Next stop is a local pub for wings and beer. It is at this point Red and I realize our boy and tour guide is getting smashed, our first clue was him stumbling down the streets in Savannah. The second hint was him spilling the remainder of his frozen drink on himself, of course being the fabulous friends that we are we get him cleaned up and order more drinks!

After a quick bite we hit the street again running in and out of the local shops and snapping pictures here and there. GP is still a little tipsy so we decide it's best to stop for some more food to try and sober him up. We order "Oysters Rockefeller" and more alcohol. We get so caught up in the food we don't even realize that our boy is falling asleep in the booth but once we do out come the cameras!

Later that night we head back to our hotel and do a quick wardrobe change and a cat nap before we hit the club scene.

So now the boys are dressed and our ride is downstairs (incomes that funky house beat) and we are pumping to a local bar before we hit the club, when we get to the bar one of the first things we notice is how friendly the folks are, everyone speaks and acknowledges you which is cool. We run into our other Savannah sister and get a round of drinks and the next thing you know we are off to the next party.

Club One is the gem of Savannah for gay men. Notoriously famous for their drag shows we had a good time, the club was not jam packed but you know we have a good time wherever the show goes....I put a few request in the DJ's ear and before you know it we had made it hip hop night and from that point forward Red and I had dance partners for the remainder of the night me some thick white boy who was shakin it something terrible on the dance floor. I think I pissed his boy off by draggin him on the dance floor as a few minutes later I was dancing with two dudes. One day somebody is going to whoop my ass for that type of behavior but then again if you test me you gotta test them so “Bring it”! The Kah Kah is most would see this as a bad thing but this is just good clean Foxy fun, I just wanna dance.

Red was getting busy with this real cool lesbian/trysexual that we met and they decided to go dance with this guy, poor lesbo she could have never known that she was about to lose Red. So we do our thing and turn out the kids and then Red and I get one ole hot song on the dance floor and as usual all eyes are on the Hot Boyz tearing up the dance floor. The Kah Kah with that is half the people in the club did not know what the song was we were dancing to but when we were done I bet they went to go find out! LOL!

We leave the club still feeling it but definitely feeling some kinda hungry. Georgia Peach suggests that we head to "Krystals" the southern version of white castle and we are sooooo feelin that idea. However, I'm also feeling all my drinks I had to have at least 5 cocktails up in the club and they were kicking in.

Yall can pretty much see where the rest of this night goes....Add in some Advil and it's all good.

See ya in the morning!

The Transfer

10am and my flight has landed in Atlanta I'm waiting on Red to get in so we can synchronize and get ready for our flight to Savannah Show. I'm at "Chick-fil-a" trying to get a Chicken sandwich and praying that they don't stick up the joint. I'm thinking in my head of exactly what Red would want and as if God heard and sent the signal to Red, my Fox Fone rings and it's Red requesting a pack of nuggets as opposed to a sandwich. I grab a beverage and I'm on the move. One of the airport employees walked me over to the terminal with the Chicken spot and we chatted along the way about how different New Yorkers are and how slow the south is and in my mind I was ripping apart her terrible weave, making fun of the jewel blinding me from her nose and her outfit.......How 'bout I'm just not going to describe it! Talking with home girl was real interesting she was a true blue country girl who at the end of the day would never last 3 months in the big city. However, us as New Yorkers have that ability to well you know the saying...If you can make it here you can make it anywhere! So on my way back to meet Red at the gate I was sure to stop back by home girls station and say thanks for helping me out. I don't want her to think New Yorkers don't have manners.

I see Red at the gate we exchange hugs and greetings then we do the outfit check....Everything is a go! Savannah here we come!!!!!

The Pre-Show

I'm just about ready to go, my hair has been cut. My bags are just about packed, now I just need to figure out what my next move is.....I call Red to make sure he is all set for the tour. We go over outfits to make sure we are definitely not packing the same colors and/or looks and then it’s is time for me to move it to Harlem where the Fox Family awaits....

Once in Harlem I see that my mom has dolled up my old bedroom and tricked it out with mini-tv, cd player and about six bottles of Pellegrino. I gotta say that most of the time my mom gives me gas but when she is making me happy boy does she do a great job. I finish up my dinner of Roasted Chicken, seasoned red potatoes and Collard Greens (which I did not touch) while on the phone with Red watching American Idol. Once Idol was all over I ran a few errands moved my car to the front of my moms building and made a few additional phone calls, before I knew it the clock was reading midnight and I was setting the alarm for 4am as I lay my head down on the pillow the Fox Fone rings and when I see the "Private Number" display on my cell I immediately light up as I know that it's "Boston Public" I do my best to clear my throat and sound alert as I answer and once I do we embark on a conversation that keeps me on the phone until 3:15am. I really wanted to hang up but every time I tried another topic came up and we were off talking about something else. I can hear my mother’s mouth now..."You should have just gone to sleep". "Who were you talking to that was that important"? I prayed that the lord allowed me to wake up in 45 minutes. At 4am my cell alarm rings the alarm clock goes off and my lil sis comes knocking on the door.........It's Showtime people and the games are about to begin.

"Statistics 101"

Tonight in class I had this problem and I couldn't seem to figure it out, no matter how many times I did the calculations it left me sitting in doubt...

I divided by the square root and multiplied by two and added the numbers again and again the answers always seem to come back the same:

"This is the end of the road for you and I my friend".

Please don't be upset it wasn't easy coming to this solution but since you and I no longer add up this was the only conclusion..

Your Distribution Frequency is no longer a part of my data table, now your problem requires you to be hugged and held and unfortunately, I am no longer able....

Cause you seem to forget that your lack of respect and your disregard for tact is the reason why you from my life I have to subtract.

As I review the calculation I feel that it's such a shame....
That A Big Smile + A Big Booty add up to such a Tiny Brain? You then divided by the square root and next multiplied it by pain then you concluded after all that math that you and I could actually be friends, now I'm not Crazy Eddie but that's just INSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!!!!

Now the proper route to solve this problem would have been to subtract that bad from the good, but instead you added one and then one again and now your left mistunderstood.

Now don't you worry Summer School is near and you will have a chance to try it again unfortunately it won't be with me as I'll be graduating when this semester ends.

So here is the Final Exam, our last calculation then you and I are done...

From my life subtract your 99 problems cuz this kid here aint the 1.......

-Foxworth 2005
You know who you are...

The Fast, The Furious and the Family....

Ok well it is Saturday morning and by 7am I had already touched base with my mom and the jig was up....I could hear the excuse for my family not coming to visit me in New Jersey building up.

I'm trying to determine whether they just don't like me or if they don't care for Jersey City. As I ponder these ridiculous thoughts in my head I pick up the phone and decide it is time for Red to wake up. I'm so glad he was half-way awake because waking him up is not always a good thing. We sit on the phone and both lie to ourselves about getting dressed to go get coffee, we both end up making our own home blend and chomping on whatever snacks we have in our cribs. I make a quick library and post office run and decide that I am going to kick back and watch a couple of flicks that I just got in the mail courtesy of Netflix (thanks Red for the hook up). Ok so now it's about 12:30 I'm curled up on my Futon and about 50% invested into "Catfish in Black Bean Sauce" and the Fox Fone rings and it's Mama Fox saying that she is at the train station with the gang and waiting for me to come pick everyone up, I pause my movie and run to scoop up the family part of me is excited as this is a big event here on the show and the other half of me is a tad annoyed as due to no contact with them since 7am I had begun to gear myself toward a Saturday alone with me glued to the Futon. Oh well time to let that go, once back at my place I resume my position and continue to watch my movie I invite everyone in the room to join me and explain the first half so that they are all caught up. We watch and my mom begins to analyze this film and find some biblical connection...GAS......

Movie is over and we are planning our next move. Red calls and is surprised to hear that I have company of the "related kind". We chat for a few and then shortly after 604 checks in on the show and he is equally surprised that the family has ventured out to the Garden State, he is also curious to know if my mama is cookin...*Rolls Eyes*

Now we are at a local diner having a late lunch and in my mind I'm mapping out the remainder of the day and preparing myself for the drama that is mall shopping....I make a quick stop at Old Navy for a shirt I planned on wearing to Georgia next weekend and of course they are sold out. When we are leaving I ask my mom what she wants to do next and she responds "Well you can just take us to the train station now because I wanted to be back in the city by 5pm" It is at this point I look at my watch and realize that it's 4:20 (LOL) and I smile and say "Sure thing". I am once again thinking to myself how much of this day can be salvaged and what can I do with the remaining hours.

I have dropped the family off and I'm back on the Futon writing in the "Blog Log" and I'm thinking and writing and reading and thinking and then I look down at my notes and I have scribbled:

"Boy was that Fast.....Boy am I Furious.....Damn that's just my Family"

"The Meeting"

Two spirits one space...
One thought no trace....

Eye contact has been made but no words have been spoken, an overcrowded room hosts a silence unbroken. Yesterday is just yesterday but this moment is now I close my eyes and think to myself....Wow.

Redbone, curly hair and my guess is six foot three.
With my eyes I'm peeling you out of your gear; damn....Did you just smile at me??
Ok so now I'm smiling back and the stakes have just been raised, this is the child like innocence of which great romances are made....

Will he speak?
How will I respond?
Will this moment be left in this space or will it transcend beyond and take us into a tomorrow that neither one of us could fathom, he flashes one more smile now I think to myself "Yeah, I gotta have him”.

A verbal exchange has been made a roadway now paved. It is now time to head toward the door but my mind craves more so I better not exit until those seven digits are saved....In my phone, so we can continue once we return home.
"Get home safely" he says with a hint of genuine concern, I now can make my exit as this meeting is now adjourned......


-Foxworth 2005
Dedicated to all those who can relate

"Finger Lickin...HOOD"!!!

Ok so life goes on and even though 604 promised to bring me a few plates of food yesterday I have yet to receive them nor have I heard from him....Red and I view and critique "American Idol" it cracks me up how we go on about our business of reading these kids as if between the two of us we have: 4 Grammy's, 8 Platinum Albums and A Greatest Hits CD being released next week. Now though I love a spotlight and I think I live for the drama of life I have never been nobody’s vocalist...However put me in my car @ 6:30 in the morning and I instantly become "Foxybrown" the new Beyonce because lord knows I cannot tell you how many concerts I have given on Route 280 headed to work in the morning. Anyhow it's break time and I'm starving I decide to get dressed and venture my behind around the corner to the Kernel as thanks to Red and Starr I'm hooked on the new KFC “Snacker Sandwich”.

(My internal dialogue is wondering "Did I just do a commercial for KFC"?)

Anyhow it's after 9pm so the Fox Fone is in full force (Special shout out to Cingular "Raising the Bar") I'm on the phone with Preach filling him in on the weekend and complaining of hunger pains as I get closer and closer to the Kernel. I get to the front of the store and the doors are locked What in the "hot biscuit hell"??? The sign reads that these bastards are open till midnight and I guess to me it meant pull on the door a bit harder...Now mind you there is some big fat dude who looks like he ate all the Chicken sitting in front of the door so my already big eyes begin popping and burning holes in his chest as I pull on these doors and continue to run my mouth on my cell phone while he stares at me. At this point I move my eyes past his fat ass and focus in on the girl behind the counter, though I'm very hungry I still can't help thinking to my self "Gurl I know it's just KFC but you could have done something with that hair" Past her I look on and see two guys standing on opposite sides of the counter.....I'm looking at them getting angry cuz they are about to eat and I'm standing out in the cold watching.....Still running my mouth on the phone I notice one dude turn to look at me and when he does I see something that resembles a toy gun but immediately realize…….. "It Aint a Toy"…….. I continue to blab my mouth on the phone as I walk briskly across the street then I start thinking to myself "You dumb bitch your walking towards the Police Precinct" right after that my next thought is "Wait a minute what kind of dumb asses rob the chicken joint across the street from the Police Station" I am now walking past the Police Station and heading toward an alternative Chicken Shack I am on the phone and I turn around and see the guys jump into a van and speed off, destination Foxy! I'm still yapping away noticing these dudes but pretending that I don't as my mama should have named me "FAME" cuz I plan to live forever and I cannot afford any glitches in the Matrix. I arrive save at the alternative Chicken Shack place an order and stay on the phone with my boy who is freaking out on the other end of this call.....I swear Non-New Yorkers run me low.

As I'm walking out the door one the "dudes" is walking in and I'm thinking again to myself "Boy, these guys are really stoooopid, why are they worried about me I'm just some fag with a show I mean who am I going to tell..... (Turns to audience and winks)

(Audience laughs)

Anyhow I go about my business and I DON'T look back I stop off at the local Bodega and grab a beverage and hang up on the screaming fool in my ear so I can call the police and do my part. A few minutes later I call Preach to let him know I'm safe at home and I fill Red in on the current events, after I finish killing my wings and calming down the warm line rings and it's "Boston Public".......Gotta go guys but if any of you read this story and have the taste for some chicken my advice to you all is....."You better don't"!

From Sunday Mass to Sunday Mess....

This morning I did not get into the house until 6am, at that point I had two choices. I could either put my ass in the bed and bring this episode to a close or I could jump in the shower and get dressed for church....I took the Holy route and showered and dressed for service, though the idea of going to "Bedside Baptist" was very tempting, I made the right choice, there is something about hearing that choir (all eight of them) sing their little hearts out and when my pastor gets up there and starts preaching a chill goes through me I swear that man is speaking through me. The message this morning was just what I needed to start my week out.

I'm home by 10am because I go to sunrise service as I'm not about the Grammy Awards Show that 11am service can be at times. I'm laid out across my bed talking to Red about the last 12 hours and going over the madness that can be the NYC sissy circuit. We hang up and as soon as I begin to drift into a fog the warm line rings again and this time it's 604 who informs me that one of his little girlfriends is on the Path Train and he needs to pick her up and complete some grocery shopping...(incomes attitude) So he wants to borrow my car to pick up "whorefriend" (*viewers this is just a blog name, I have met this young lady and she is sweet as pie but for all blogging purposes this will be her name*) then he offers to buy groceries for me and as that is very nice and cool of him however, 6 needs to work on his timing. Why would you wait until someone is on the way to try to find a means of picking them up??? (Insert GAS here ---- ____) Moving along I check in on my boys to find out how they are doing and I find out they are knocked out sleep.

Two hours later I get an invite to a late brunch so I figure I will round the boyz up and we will make a guest appearance at this function. 604 calls me to let me know that he's on the way with my ride which is perfect timing as I'm jumping in the shower and by the time I'm all done my groceries will be here and so will my ride.....30 minutes later I'm dried and dressed and still waiting....I call to find out where my ride and my rice is.....Wouldn't you know this clown is at a train station waiting on another of his little "buddies" at this point patience is out the door and attitude has just been invited in and 6 realizes this so he forgets about friend and brings my car to me. I drop his behind home and go upstairs to collect what would be at this point my two angry and hungry girlfriends. When I get upstairs I'm greeted by the smells of some home cooking, Barbecued Chicken, Corn, Cabbage, Potato Salad (stomach grumbling) and I notice all of 604's friends are in the kitchen so I wonder where my gal pals are......Well wonder no more as I walk into the living room and see the crew packed and sitting in their coats waiting for the exit music to start playing I ask no questions I just eyeball each of them and say lets go...I realize this exit must be very very weird for all parties present but I think it's totally understandable.

Once in the car my boyz go off it is now about 5:30pm and they have not had a bite to eat all day meanwhile 604 has been running around getting food and picking up guest for this "breeder birthday party" at his place my boyz felt as though there was just no room for them so they made an exit. Next stop Burger King those savages ripped through some whoppers in a matter of minutes...Next Stop KFC....I think the viewers get where this is going. So we never made it to the late brunch as these boys were full and stretched out on my Futon within an hour, nothing left to do but go to plan B everyone take a quick nap while foxy does a wardrobe change and then we hit the city for a quick game of "Bar-Hop" before heading to Escuelita to dance the night away.

During "Bar-Hop" I see a few familiar faces nobody blogworthy, A.Gay and I were the flavor of the evening, being stopped by quite a few dudes. I am so over meeting and greeting potential dates I usually check out after the first two minutes and go into a session of "Smile and Nod" in which I just smile and nod until you go away If I get your information and get rid of you in two minutes or less I win! LOL Just kidding guys I'm not that bad (but if I am not using you...U will know)

So now we are at the club where we meet up with some friends that A.Gay will be staying with for the next few days, we dance and I end up meeting a really cute youngin who is on spring break, he is not really blog material but it is what happened. Skipping ahead it's now like 2am, A.Gay has departed for the evening and I'm now walking My Starr to the port authority bus station I tell you I had a blast this weekend but I really don't think the show is going to make it to the office on Monday morning.....What do you guys think???

Welcome to the new week!

Showtime Synergy.......

Sunshine greets my face by 6:20 this morning and I'm so excited I could explode!
In less than 10 hours I will be in the company (and hopefully arms) of "Boston Public" and the thought of it just makes me feel like scramming "Hi my name is Key-Sha and I'd like to give a shout out to my baby daddy". I feel like such a chickenhead being so excited over this dude but there have been some cool conversations leading up to this point so the anticipation is building up by the minute. First on my agenda this morning is to get a fresh cut, the last time brother man saw me I had just received my $20 zeek job. I gotta bring it this time so by 7:45 I'm sitting in the shop and I am thinking to myself there is nothing in this world like a Black Barber Shop, brothers can do some gossiping and at times be just as bitchy as the girls. Only we talk about different stuff I sat there for 20 minutes listening to a brother who apparently just got out of jail for beating his girl for slashing his tires talk about how crazy she is, mind you he also mentions that during this relationship he cheated twice and ended up having two kids outside of this relationship. I'm thinking to myself he needs to be happy she did not slash his manhood! I need a break from this "Barber Shop Blah Blah" so I call 604 to let him know that the shop is not packed and if he's getting a cut now is the time. Shortly after that I'm jumping out of the chair looking so fresh and so clean and heading back home, on my way out 6 is on his way into the shop.

Once I'm back home I continue cleaning and blasting music thinking about all the feaky thangs I'm gonna do to this same music later tonight.

*Fox Fone Rings*

It's Starr and A.Gay who are in New Jersey and waiting at the train station for 604, I throw on my Mink Jacket aka "my favorite gap sweatshirt" and go grab the boys. By the time we arrive at 604's he is just walking down the street. When we get upstairs I realize that this negro has no food other than pringles and some Honey Smacks with no milk, Can u dig it? I immediately start my campaign for breakfast at Al's Diner 604 asks for 10 minutes to finish up a project.....80 minutes after that we decide to leave his ass right in the house and go off in search of a meal.
After we were stuffed I dropped the boys back at 6's kiss everyone goodbye as I plan not to see anyone again until "BP" is on his way back to Boston.

"The Storm"

It's about 2pm and I should be hearing from my boy any second now, At about 3:30 the "warm line" aka house phone rings and when I look at caller ID and see area code 617 I damn near knock the phone and charger down on the floor. It's my boy and I'm grinning from ear to ear. Always so cordial he asks about my morning and I run it down to him and then ask about his morning his morning was great his afternoon however, was not looking so good. Apparently Boston was being covered with snow as we spoke therefore complicating my visit from the brother from Bean Town. Afraid that he would be marked as a flake he offered to take the trip anyhow but expressed that he would rather not take the trip in the funky weather. Screaming and crying on the inside I opened my mouth and agreed with him as it just wouldn't make much sense for him to do all that and have to turn around and go home the next day. We planned to reschedule and then we hung up.

*Foxy drops Broom and picks up Bologna and Cheese and makes a sandwich*

I text Red the bad news and call 604 to let him know about the change in guests here on the show. I'm trying to hide my disappointment but with these two it's pointless all week I have been going on and on about this so there is no sense in fronting...I was SAD. 604 offered to cook a meal as an attempt to cheer me up and as cute as the offer was, him experimenting in the kitchen was not the way to get over this.....I needed to hit the streets with my girlfriends so they boys come over to my place and we make a few cocktails play a few beats and before you know it Foxworth Brown is dressed to kill and ready for a night on the town! "Showtime Synergy"!!!!

The agenda for the evening was to meet up with some friends of my boys have a few drinks then dash to a party in Brooklyn and the close out the night by checking out a club in Brooklyn that Starr has been trying to hit for years.

"Ladies and Gentlemen stepping to the Mic"........

After we hang out with my boyz friends who end up being not so bad it is now time to venture into "Do or Die" aka Bed-Stuy Brooklyn. We decide it's just best to take the train while in the city considering we will probably be all kinds of drunk by the time the night is over. On the train Starr tells me that this party is for a buddy of his whom just completed publishing his own book and is more of a open mic night. I'm smiling but thinking to myself...."How exciting is this going to be"? Once we all arrive at this party it takes 3 minutes before I run into someone that I know
*Enter those thoughts about running from this city*
As the evening progresses there are a few fans of the show at this party and I smile and nod cuz that's just what a good host is to do. Shortly after the party is in full force and the open mic session begins. I'm going to skip past the few brothas that got up and did their thing and zone right in on my boyz who got up there and each read a little tribute to the host. I was impressed and touched by the readings...I was also hot, tired and ready to go.....Our next stop was club "Rockwells" when we got there it was not too bad but 30 minutes later the place was wall to wall sexiness! I gotta say if you have never been please check it out well I mean if your gay and kinda into that type of thing.....LOL.

If I ever mention to you guys that I want to take the train in the city again someone please just shoot me It had to take at least an hour to get 15 minutes away...In fact the ride was so exhausting I'm not even going to write about it....Night Night!

Freaky Friday.....

Friday is finally here and I'm so excited about "Boston Public" coming to visit tomorrow. I think I danced at my desk all day anticipating the fun we would have. In addition to that I found out that "Starr and "A.Gay" (friends to the show) would also be in town staying with 604. When I get home I'm working like a Hebrew Slave, scrubbing and cleaning, changing sheets setting up candles and Febreezing everything in site to make sure the place is as close to perfect as possible. Behind the scenes "The Mexican" is also in town with his hubby and a friend from the Lone Star State I was warned weeks prior that they would be way to busy to hang out and would probably not see me. (Based on the number of times Mex has called me today I feel that plans are about to change)

7PM and I and deciding to take a break to just chill and slow down for a bit, The Fox Fone rings and it's Mex asking what I'm doing I go into instant attitude mode as I have already decided that his peeps from Texas must not be available so I'm runner up for the role of "Running Buddy" he wants to grab a bite to eat so I decide that it would be cool if he gets to meet 604 as one of his complaints is that everyone has met him with the exception of him. In my mind it's bullshit but you gotta let people have their moments. Ninety minutes later we are picking up Mex and Company from the fabulous and fierce Waldorf-Astoria I'm also wondering why the hell did they stay at this expensive ass hotel for 3 days??? Either way off to the West Village we go for "Soul food with the Sissies" It took longer than expected to find parking so I left Mex and hubby in front of restaurant while 6 and found parking. Once parked we dash to the restaurant ready to get our hungry man on and before I can take my coat off I hear some sly comments coming from one of my favorite waiters in this place and immediately my table is roaring in laughter....I swear half the time I feel I run this city and the other half I feel like I want to run from it!

Dinner was great and everyone was stuffed as expected everyone ate 604 up as he has this way of growing on you like pubic hair once you got it it's just there....U can try to shave it off but it always grows back. I drop everyone back home and crash and burn for the evening.

Beantown meets Foxybrown....

Ok so I have five minutes to finish this posting so I will be short and sweet and promise to follow up......The District Part 3 has not been published yet but in "TD3" I meet a dude from Boston and since that initial meeting we have had quite a few conversations more or less one every night. Last night he called around 10:30 and I did not hang up my phone until 2:15am. This brother really has my attention and what I find so cool about this is that we have not officially even hung out but I'm learning so much about him and he is a realist, this is a characteristic of an individual that will shine through everytime for me. I cannot wait to get back and introduce you guys later but the clock strikes seven soon and I have to split.

*Stares at monitor and realizes that I am glowing*

Ciao!

Say Cheeeeeeeez.........

Ok so today was supposed to be simple and plain....However you forget that simple and plain do not exist here on the show, so ladies and gentlemen welcome to the weekend!

Ok so the plan was for 604 to get his taxes done this morning and for us to go venture out to this WAL*MART that I found in South Linden
-This is me venturing out in New Jersey-

********************AUDIENCE APPLAUDS***************************

Plans are meant to be broken and that was exactly what happened here this morning. 604 called me at 7am to see if I was awake and of course I was, I rolled out of bed to clean up the place, the agreement was that he would be at my house by 8:15 and I would make breakfast and we would be at the Tax Man by 9am because the early bird gets a better return! 8:15am and I'm on the phone with Red going over last nights events which consisted of us talking about Red's business trip this upcoming week and the horrific grade I received on my Statistics exam earlier this week which did not bring me a Kool-Aid smile. Ok so the time is 9am and I have just finished getting busy with some Cheese Eggs, Turkey Sausage, Grits, Buttermilk Biscuits and some fresh fruit.....Still no sign of 604, I am on the phone going off with Red about why I do not make plans with people and why I am the first person to leave a late person behind. Meanwhile, I realize that all my ranting and raving on punctuality is going in one ear and out of the other because Red does not at all live by my law of punctuality! 9:30am and I hear my door opening as I place my dirty dishes in the sink. It's the always late 604 looking like he's only 6+4 running his mouth about not being able to find his documents and some other excuse, I am paying him about as much attention as Red was paying me during my whole "It never pays to be late" Solilequy. I continue talking to Red and begin sorting Laundry.......An hour later (10:30) someone is still stretched out across the Futon in the TV room I started to get a slight attitude but instead let that go as I realized that I had already filed and received all my refund checks. 11:30 and we are pulling into the Parking Lot and heading towards the Tax Man's office upon our entry we are snatched back by the crowd of 14 people "waiting" to see associates, I step up to the receptionist and inquire about a particular associate who I find out does not work weekends....Then I ask about the length of the wait we can expect and they then inform me that there are only two associates working this morning and in my mind that means to me that we are leaving, not now but RIGHT NOW!

"Shop till you drop"

Well after that ordeal we headed for WAL*MART nothing like shopping to get rid of the blues or just put a smile on your face just because. A few DVD's here, a few safety-pins there and a Queen size bed-in-a-bag for $17 and we are at the checkout line...Wait did I mention that during this process some lil punk girl stole our shopping cart??????? I digress. Our next stop is Target and we go there just because.....I'm on the phone with RED as he struggles to find a Hardware store in Rockhard, MD and we are T-shirt shopping and planning for our upcoming trip to Georgia. An associate comes flying past our path handing out flyers that read...."One day only free 8x10 no gimmicks, no catch" Now in my mind there is always a gimmick and always a catch but it is my duty as a reporter and a voice of the street to get to the bottom of this and report back to my viewers. 604 and I sit for like 20 minutes and once it's our turn to go into the photo studio boy oh boy, do the games begin. First up is Foxy and I'm ready with my brightest smile and big eyes I'm ready to make love to the camera.....NOT! I was pushed, lifted, pulled, stretched and tilted to get 6 shots. How about I have a whole new respect for Tyra and the whole crew from America's Next Top Model because I think I would quit day one...I mean please don't get me wrong I love taking pictures but at the end of that session I felt as though I should be getting medical and dental benefits. 604 was next and she worked him just as hard and I could not help but laugh at all the different poses that she was making him fall into. 40 minutes later we had ordered 16x20 self portraits and spent about $120 in photo packages.....Free my Ass!

Love Thy Neighbor....

This morning I woke up in my usual fashion:
Shot out of bed
Programmed my cd player to keep me jamming for the next 37 minutes
get my coffee going and hop my behind in the shower.
Ten minutes later I'm drying off and spinning aroung my house to the "Wonderwoman" theme song singing and thinking to myself.."All the world is waiting for you, and the magic that you do".

I hear some knocking at my door but I'm thinking I am just hearing things until 20 seconds later I hear it again. I get a little pissed off because I'm still in a towel and barely ready to head out but when I look through my peep hole and see a sexy latin chulo on the other side of my door pissed off goes out the window and I open my door>>>>>>(in my towel).

"Good Morning" I say as I size this guy up, kinda thick, nice hair hmmmmm I'm diggin it I'm diggin it. "El Neighbor" introduces himself and explains to me that he just moved in downstairs.... As he is saying to me that the music is a little too loud I realize the music is still WHAT???? ON! I run over to my stereo and turn it down I hold the door open therefore inviting him to step in and take a sneak peak at how my "ghetto booty" bounces in a towel, he steps in and lets me know that he enjoyed the music but he works nights and is just coming home during this time in the morning. It was all good I simply apologized and said to him, "No worries man one day you can stop by we can have a few beers and you can listen to the music then and it will be all good". El Neighbor smiled and agreed, he then headed on his way back to his place and I continued to get ready for my day and as I sat in front of my laptop to begin this entry I just realized.......I'M LATE! Ciao!

Can you hear me now???

Today was filled with more surprises and challenges than I am used to for a Monday. Ironic as it may be work was the lighter of my load today. I actually managed to get in on time and get going on my "Things to do list". By 8am I had reached out to my peeps in DC and Virginia to make sure they were ok and tuned into the show. By my second cup of coffee I was in full force knocking things out left and right.

Next up "Preach" decided he wanted to pick my brain.....Not really sure what was going on in his world today but I really feel that he likes to punch my buttons from time to time but he forgets that I'm not always the nicest person and tend not to hold my tongue, but in all fairness, whether people like it or not I'm pretty much going to give you an honest opinion and I think that commands respect because there are days when I think some peeps are ready to fight me and then I get hugs and love instead. I love "Preach" and he is truly a work in progress so again I'm going to monitor his progress and continue being me and cheer him on from the sidelines.

Just when I thought Preach would be my biggest event of the day I found out that the Snow was to be my next hurdle it took a hot minute to get home in our crazy weather. Once home I did a quick wardrobe change and put my feet to the street for the evening show.....20 minutes later I'm standing on the platform of the Path Train and this little hot boy gives me the "Wassup Nod" now I was at first confused by the nod as it could have been the "Soul Brotha head nod" or the "Oooooooooooh how u doin head nod". Once on the train we played the whole crotch gaze and grab game (He grabs his crotch while I gaze) therefore confirming it was definitely not the soul brotha nod. Thank goodness the train was virtually empty or else this would have been really embarrassing. Eventually it was time to jump off the train and sure enough shorty jumped up and started getting ready to exit. Once we were off the train I'm armed with a business card not necessarily sure if it is going to land in his hand but a Fox is always ready, now we are out on the street and at this point I am about to head off in the direction of school because this is becoming work so my patience is running low.....Just as I begin to give up he stops (dead ringer for I want your number) I walk over to him and introduce myself and he mumbles something It is so crowded on the street I barely hear him so I introduce myself again and I hear this mumbling going on again in that exact second I realize....THIS GUY IS DEAF!!!! I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that I could not let my face convey my shock at this so I pull it together and continue to act normal and speak. Eventually the guy pulls out some paper and begins to write to me. He tells me his name and then proceeds to write out that "He currently has a boyfriend that lives in Jersey City but would like to get his freak on with me".....Now when I read this I'm thinking to myself "What in the Gay Hell.......Is the deaf guy trying to run game on me"??? Finally he gives me his e-mail and asks me to hit him up later tonight, I take the info and start making my way to school.....Within five minutes of this whole experience Red is ringing the Fox Fone (I swear it's like he knows exactly when to call) I run the whole story by him and he laughs and reminds me that shit like this only happens to me but after a few good jokes he reminds me that I need to get my tail to class.........I think this is where this story is going to end because I don't think it needs to go on!